Why You Should Invite Your “Worst” Friend to Dinner

In the newsrooms of Fleet Street, we used to have a saying: “If two people agree on everything, one of them is redundant.” Today, we live in the era of the “Echo Chamber.” Our social media feeds are curated to nod back at us like a room full of bobbleheads. We’ve mistaken comfort for correctness, and in doing so, we’ve let our intellectual muscles atrophy. We are becoming a society of experts who have forgotten how to have a conversation.

The Death of the “Good Argument”
Somewhere along the line, we decided that a difference of opinion was a personal attack. If you don’t like my politics, my diet, or my choice of cinema, you must be a “bad person.”

But as an editor, I know that the best stories come from the friction of opposing views. A story with no conflict is just a press release. A life with no disagreement is just a monologue.

The “Table for Four” Rule
To keep your mind sharp and your perspective human, you need what I call the Intellectual Antagonist. This is the friend who challenges your assumptions without ruining your appetite. Here’s why they are your most valuable asset:

They Expose Your Blind Spots: We all have them. We see the world through a keyhole. A dissenting voice forces you to widen the aperture.

They Improve Your Logic: Nothing highlights a weak argument faster than trying to explain it to someone who doesn’t already believe you.

They Build Empathy: It’s easy to hate a “group” of people online. It’s very hard to hate the person sitting across from you sharing a bottle of Malbec.

How to Argue Like a Pro (And Keep Your Friends)
If you want to bring back the art of the lively debate, you have to follow the editor’s code: Attack the idea, never the person.

Steel-manning: Instead of “straw-manning” (making your opponent’s argument look weak), try to state their position so well they say, “Thanks, I couldn’t have put it better myself.” Then, and only then, tell them why you think they’re wrong.

Ask “How,” not “Why”: Asking “Why do you believe that?” makes people defensive. Asking “How would your solution work in practice?” forces a deeper, more analytical conversation.

The “I Might Be Wrong” Clause: Start a sentence with this. It’s the ultimate social lubricant. It lowers the temperature and invites collaboration instead of combat.